You're not going out in that!

My friend recently took her daughter clothes shopping for her birthday - I know she wasn't looking forward to it, fearing clashes over style choices and what defines appropriate dress; and that scenario reminded me about this overdue blog! 

Of the “Seven Stages of Style” from a blog I'd done previously, it was the issue of teen style which had generated the most discussion at networking groups and amongst friends.

I've got a while before I face this particular parental challenge, but this issue still resonates for me as my parents continue to (albeit occasionally) question my outfit choices...usually the bright colours and with 'the look' rather than specific comments/demands!

And the generational gap teens face is just part of the issue. For them there's also the often frustrating lack of financial independence and the weight of peer pressure, but the even bigger picture is that those years are confusing (not that the teen themselves will agree because they believe they know it all!) on both a physical and emotional level. If our clothes reflect who we are -and they do - then if we're ‘confused’ in ourselves, then so might our style be. My suggestions for dressing your teen therefore takes this into consideration.

Remember too that nagging will only turn clothing issue in to a(nother) battle and someone will come out a loser. Follow Damson Belle’s Top Tips for dressing your Teen, for a win-win scenario:

1. If you don’t take care of your own appearance, have no idea about what’s ‘trendy’ or dress inappropriately yourself, how do you expect to influence your teen? Hence, tip one is to Think about your own style (sorry!) and whose style you praise.
2. Start where your teen is. If your daughter insists on wearing a miniscule mini, perhaps shorts or the addition of tights might be the compromise; if your son insists on jeans and a t-shirt, add a waistcoat for a cool twist.
3. On a similar note, compliment/reward them when they get it right (or at least near to it) or some other element of their style... do they wear the right colours, do their make-up well or take pride in their clothes for example – Find something, you can do it! Maybe even take a picture and display it proudly, or what about a visit to a fashion show/museum.
4. Have realistic expectations: Don’t expect a shift from tracksuits to suits in one transition. Think about progress with your real teen, rather than your try to create the perfect style-teen.
5. Talk to your teen to find the ‘future focus’ – Does your son/daughter want to be a fashion designer or a doctor... ask them to think about how their style choices now will look to their future selves. This might also give you something else to focus on and help you guide them.
6. On a similar note, get your teen to think about who they’ll attract with the way they dress especially if they have started to take an interest in the opposite sex! After all, their mates may be into grunge, but is the guy/girl next door?!
7. Take this another stage, and get them creating... Can you work with your teen to customise their jeans and t-shirt?
8. Who’s their hero - Is it a sports personality, film star or musician? – What positives can you get them to embrace from that person’s style (old or new) or their style evolution? (Does Madonna come to mind for anyone else?!)
9. Perhaps most importantly, make sure you help your teen embrace their uniqueness and best self. This is really important if your teen is simply dressing to ‘fit in’ or follow a crowd.
10. Enlist the help of others – can you encourage their school to talk to teens about personal style or get a relative who they listen to help?
11. Get in a professional... How about a make-up lesson, personal shopping experience or group session for your teens birthday. We'll make it fun as well as informative!
12. If all else fails, get out old pictures of yourself (or threaten to dress like your teen self again if you’re feeling bold)! - It will show them you were once young, and remind you that you were too!

Now, as only you know your teen, please pick which tips will work best for your circumstances and don’t be afraid to try a few, and then try again.  Don’t get stressed out and accept that in the end, you may just have to wait - and you may be waiting a very long time!

The Seven Stages of Style!

According to Shakespeare in “As you like it”, there are several stages of 'man' – infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, pantaloon and second childhood.  That’s not quite how I’d put it, but after talking to a few mums about their shopping experiences with their daughters; and my work in the corporate sector, the idea of this blog was formed.

Here’s my take on how Shakespeare’s stages relate to our fashion lifecycle, from the ‘can’t care’ stage through the ‘should care’ stage, to the ‘who cares’ stage!:

Note: These stages are not about solely about ages!

• Stage one – Infancy:

From the moment we are born, we are clothed - usually with white to represent our innocence. Colour therefore already plays it's part - if parents are being traditional boys get blue clothes, girls pink (though it wasn’t always like that). Baby clothes used to be plain practical, but not any more... For some parents what baby wears is a status symbol - Just ask Harper Beckham!

• Stage two – Childhood:

Time for school and if you’re a parent or an indecisive child, you’ll be glad of a uniform. Uniforms are designed to help children conform... and many people never quite break the habit. Despite these early years, kids can often have a strong sense of their own ‘style’ and if my experience is anything to go by, toddlers are definitely into characters and colour; and children can be very opinionated given half the chance!

• Stage three – Our teenage years:

This can be a really confusing stage but for me, this is where it gets interesting. It’s the stage that often defines the fashion of a time (the 60’s mini, 70’s disco). Many teens may want to conform (but not to what their parents want) – ‘what’s in’ really matters. However, clothes also start to define us and which group we’re part of (eg punk, goth, mods and rockers). But what if the style of our chosen group doesn’t work for us? This, I understand, is a parental nightmare. My advice – remember what you were like... after all, most of us look back and cringe a bit don’t we?!

• Stage four – The work years: 

This is when we may focus more on quality rather than creativity. We buy the best dark suit we can afford and try to fit in with our colleagues or social circle. According to many of my clients, at this stage, we tend to stick to a limited range of items and a limited range of colours. How sad. Are you here, back in a formal or in a self-imposed uniform?

• Stage five – Easy time:

In my experience, the chances are we’ve slipped into lazy mode about now – maybe because as partners or parents, we no longer need to/can make the same clothes effort and focus on how others (eg our kids) dress rather than ourselves. We are also now likely to be ‘settled’ and ‘set in our style ways’. Mothers in particular, often tell me that they need to wear practical, comfortable clothes and that they don’t have the time or energy to make as much effort.

• Stage six – Style Maturity:

This might also be another tough style stage for some as the question becomes ‘is this age appropriate?, along with considering what ‘is it comfortable?’. However, it’s also often around now that we might start to think “I want me back”. We’re more likely to be free of commitments, less likely to be in any kind of uniform, and we might just have the money to invest in ourselves. I don’t think we should wait so long but better late than never!

• Stage seven – Old age/second childhood:

For some, style and fashion are really of little or no concern again but for others it’s only when we get to this stage, that we’re truly confident enough to say ‘This is me - I know who I am, my style and what I want’... Hopefully, you’re still in a position to actually get to the shops yourselves! You've earned the right to wear what you want, and had the time to work out your style... especially if you’re one of the new breed of OAT's (Old age trendsetters!) - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2155957/Meet-OATs-thats-old-age-trendsetters.html!).

So - does this ring true for you (or someone you know), what stage are you at, and... Are you happy there?

A stylish celebration in Red, White & Blue!

I couldn’t let Jubilee weekend go by without talking about Red, White & Blue! 

It’s such a great colour combination (nature proves it!) – there’s a shade of red and blue for everyone, and so many variations of this complimentary trio. 

Blue is a great alternative to black, it is very versatile and the shades are endless. And red is just so hot, striking and dramatic, what’s not to love! Although pure  white doesn’t flatter everyone, softer shades are great and there’s nothing more classic than a crisp white shirt.

Think about what you'll let dominate though, as colours have meaning:

• Wear red to signal passion, drive and a will to win (and no, it does not anger bulls)!
• Wear white to appear pure, spiritual and enlightened, but not with kids!
• Wear blue to promote calm, loyalty, and authority... great for interviews!

So, how will you be wearing your red, white and blue this weekend? Here are a few of my mix and match items.

My mix: Jeans, dresses, jackets, trousers and tops plus accessories - What combination would  you go for?

Not feeling brave enough to wear all three...go for a 'pop' of red - ladies how about wearing blue and white clothes, but donning red lips (make sure you pick the right shade!) and/nails. And gents, how about red socks and a stylish red hankie? No excuses, there’s a shade and combination for everyone! 

What a fantastic change to seeing black dominate events... let’s embrace it and keep it up!

And finally, some interesting facts about red, white and blue...

• There was a red, white and blue beer, and it might be revived soon!
• Red, white and blue is the most popular combination for national flags... wonder why?
• “Red, white and blue” is the title of both a song and a film
• Red, White and Blue are the names of three fictional soldiers from a DC comics series
• Friday, 12^th October 2012 will see school children celebrating "Red, white and blue' day in support of the families of the Armed Forces (For more or to make a donation, go to http://www.redwhiteblueday.co.uk/)

Buying Style on a Budget

It is often the case that people turn to ‘retail therapy’ when they feel  a bit low. But, in the current economic climate this ‘pick-me-up’ can lead to more problems than the ones we’re trying to escape from - on top of the fact that psychologists will tell you that it’s not effective or healthy anyway! As well as a lack of money some people also chose not to spend on fortune on fashion as a point of principle.

But if, like me, you still like to treat yourself every now and again; or you need to update your look or get an outfit for special occasion, you might be looking for ways to do it sensibly and without blowing your budget. As an image consultant I deal with clients with a range of budgets, and here are the tips I share with more conservative or thrifty shoppers (in addition to the obvious one to shop in the sales, charity shops or budget stores such as Primark which might not be your preference).

Don’t buy it just because it’s on sale or in fashion as it’s a false economy. How many of us have items stuck at the back of the wardrobe because they seemed like a good buy at the time? It is actually more cost effective to buy something a little more expensive that you will wear often – to ‘justify’ the initial spend, divide the cost of an item by the number of times you’ll wear it. If you can’t think of at least two separate events it might be suitable for (halving the cost) be careful.

Shop about on-line as you may just find similar items at reduced cost from places such as ebay. This is also a great way to save time, if you can be quite specific about what you want. On-line shopping from high street stores, rather than doing the shopping trip, may also help reduce impulse buying. Either way, on-line shopping can save you travel costs, time and energy, and the dreaded changing room experience!

Consider swapping clothes – either informally or at an official ‘swishing’ event, which is a cost effective way of getting new (or nearly new) clothes at the same time as getting rid of unwanted/unworn items. It’s becoming so popular it’s even been done at the House of Lords! Croydon-based Lauren Wisdom hosts regular swishing events – for more details, visit www.backtothefuschia.org/

If you need an outfit for a special, one-off event - why not borrow something special... just as many a groom does!  As with ‘swishing’, you can do this via friends or more formally – check out one provider www.girlmeetsdress.com which lends special occasion and designer-wear for a fraction of the cost of a purchase.

Another option if you like unique pieces, but can’t afford designer, is to look at vintage outlets which do day, evening, special occasion and even wedding garments. This can be time consuming but worth it... Go to a vintage event with www.vintagefashionfairlondon.co.uk  or look at vintage fashion at  www.etsy.com (vintage).

A personal favourite and one I practice is to ‘shop your wardrobe’ which is recommended by Colour Me Beautiful. Be sure that you don’t have some hidden gems lurking that could be updated or repaired. Link this to my final tip, which is to accessorise, accessorise, accessorise for a new look outfit which can be done at the fraction of the cost of a whole new outfit! For example take a simple shift dress in a staple colour and give it a fresh look with seasonal pieces such as a new pair of shoes, scarves, jewellery... and voila!

From Aztec to Zebra!

See in Spring with a Print.

When the sun appears we often look for ways to update our wardrobes for the coming season. As well as injecting colour, a quick and easy way to introduce a touch of new season style is to invest in a bit of print.

Every season there’s a focus on at least one print, with some - like floral and leopard print - seemingly never out of fashion. As soon as we strip ourselves of our winter safety blankets and wet weather-wear (a bulky coat, and warm comfortable clothes in deep colours), pastels and prints begin to appear in the shops. 

Every Spring/Summer, inspired by nature, prints make a comeback and this year is no different.  What is different this year though, is how we will be wearing it. Instead of a focus on one print, the trend off the catwalk, for women, is to wear bold clashing prints; and for men print is being modelled top-to-toe. Personally I love florals, butterflies and paisley, but I won't be wearing them altogether!

With neither look being for the feint-hearted (me included!), here are my top tips on how to wear print:

• Be careful with the size (and placement) of print you wear – an oversized print on someone petite will overwhelm, whereas a tiny print on a larger frame may seem to disappear.
• Make sure you wear prints in colours that flatter you (especially those nearest your face).
• If wearing bold prints are not your thing, accessorise instead – a handbag or hankie will work against blocked colours, ladies - paint your nails, and for total subtlety go for printed lining!
• Use print to draw attention to an area you want to show off (and away from areas you want to hide) – for example printed trousers will draw attention to your legs.
• Try teaming prints with neutrals or pastels, in fabrics such as linen, cotton and silk.
• If you do brave this seasons head-to-toe, clashing prints - pick at least one colour that features throughout.

So, that’s how to wear print but which ones are ‘on-trend’ this season?

For ladies – Another key trend this season is a look of the sea so go for watery prints in blues and greens, and shells; birds are the animal print to go for; vegetables replace fruits; and bold, arty graphics are also ‘in’.

For gents – This season, pattern is not for your ties only! The theme from the catwalk is 'be bold'. Wear the exotic (such as birds), camouflage (eg leaves) and paisley.

The great thing with prints is that there is one for everyone - from Aztec, birds and butterflies through to Zebra.  Whatever print you wear, and however you wear it – wear it with confidence and a smile.

What’s your signature print and how will you wear it?

Does look good, feel good always apply?

Sadly the answer is no, but the Good News is that most of the time it does. What we wear in terms of colour and how it makes us look is proven to have a strong psychological impact on how we feel, and in most cases our self-esteem and mood is heightened when we look good. So what makes the answer ‘no’.

Well, firstly we can wear something lovely and designed to make us feel better, but if we are not addressing the underlying issue then it’s not necessarily going to have the desired effect. Even so, it’s worth dressing ‘happy’ even if all it does is stop everyone wondering/asking if you’re ok, and you having to explain why maybe you’re not.

The other reason struck me after I recently met a lady at an event - she said that since having an image consultation she is scared to shop as she doesn’t want to get it wrong, and this was supported by a style consultant who said she’d met people who could only shop with their colour wallet. In other words (what I call) 'perfection pressure'.

Is the person looking back, authentically you?

I hope my clients have never felt this way (I’ve always had positive feedback except from partners who are scared about the bank balance!) so both situations struck me as sad because, as I’ve said - I believe that if women, and men, understand what makes them look good it will lead to them feeling better; and so, I conduct a consultation with this in mind. As such the whole point of a consultation is to help people enjoy clothes, shopping and the person in the mirror. In one-to-ones and in my training courses I remind people that the only thing that really matters is that when you look in that mirror, you like the look of the person you see, and recognise that person as AUTHENTICALLY (AND STYLISHLY!) YOU. 

I see my role as helping people by offering advice and solutions, not rule setting. I give my clients guidance, but make it clear to them that they have a choice. In fact I share with them my rule breakers   for example I know that ankle straps make me look petite and ‘warm’ colours aren’t in my palette but I like them so...  wear them sparingly, I don’t break all my ‘rules’ at once and I know how to compensate so you won’t catch me in an orange top at the same time as mustard ankle strapped flats!

We all look better in some colours and styles than others, but whatever the style rules, the main one is ‘if it doesn’t make you feel good, don’t do it... and if you break a few ‘rules’ – well, so be it! As Donatella Versace said “Fashion is all about happiness. It's fun. It's important. But it's not medicine” – Now style may be more serious, but it’s still not medicine, so:

- Be colour confident – Get Style Savvy - Enjoy shopping - 

- Own your style - Embrace being you! -

You should be able to say "I am so pleased with my purchases!" after a consultation.

My Springtime Style

I am loving the sunshine and hoping that it lasts, but it seems too early in the year for summer dresses, hot pants and flip-flops if you ask me - but maybe I’m just getting old because judging from the fashion on show on a recent shopping trip, it seems that I’m out-of-touch. However if, like me, you’re not quite ready to bare all just yet...here are my 

Top Tips for dressing at the moment!

• Get a hot new Hairstyle: It’s time to ditch the winter hats, and as we can no longer hide our hair under one, it’s a great time to have a hair makeover. Check out this article for some inspiration  http://www.ivillage.co.uk/celebrity-hair-trends-get-the-look/146452  If you’re thinking of dyeing your hair remember this might affect the colours that flatter you in terms of clothes and make-up.
• Do a Make-up audit: Talking of make-up, it’s also worth checking your make-up bag now too - I’m moving from my deep plum lippy to red. Also don’t forget you should get rid of anything that is out-of-date and up the SPF.  
• Up top and over: The daytimes are lovely and warm, but as the sun goes down and the evening cools you will need a lightweight cover up. Also, out of the sun or in open areas there can be a breeze. For me it’s time to get out my cropped denim jacket and an array of bright cardi’s.
• Lower level: Like I said, I’m not ready to expose my legs just yet... after a winter of tights, they need some TLC first! But it’s never too early for my linen trousers and coloured jeans are also very now. When I do ditch the trousers, Spring sees the outing of my denim skirt and coloured pencil skirts make an appearance.
• Dress-up: Maxi dresses are a great way to look girly and remain a bit covered-up.  I like them layered – maybe a t-shirt underneath and my denim jacket/cardigan on top (which also works with a summer dress). I also avoid all over black and shift to navy/grey/beige which look less harsh and are just as smart and versatile.
• Fetching feet: OK, so I have to get out of my boots but rather than go straight to sandals and flip-flops, I’m going with peep toe shoes. Coloured pumps also make for great Spring-time footwear.

Finally, this Spring is a great time for sherbet colours, floral prints and lace.

The main thing though, is to make sure you’re wearing the right colours and styles for you and have a closet of clothes that makes you feel as warm and bright as the Spring sunshine... so feel free to ignore me and wear your bikini now if you want to!

Me wearing a printed maxi dress, bright cardi' and peep toe shoes.